Getting Help in Tough Times

Everyone will at some point go through a tough time in their life. This is when a mentor can be especially helpful to you. Your mentor may have had a personal experience like yours. It’s likely that your mentor may have had a similar experience with another person they guided. The types of issues we are dealing with include death of a loved one, health issues, substance abuse, relationship problems, etc.

Here is a strategy for working with your mentor on these challenges:

1. Ask your mentor if you can meet with him/her after work. You should try to find a quiet, private place where you can talk.
2. Prior to describing your challenge, ask your mentor if he/she will keep what you will be saying confidential.
3. Describe the situation. Don’t hold anything back because this will not be helpful. It’s ok to be emotional (crying) as you do this, but be completely open.
4. A good mentor will ask a lot of follow up questions. Answer these truthfully.
5. Your mentor will probably give you options to think about. Ask follow up questions on these.
6. Talk through what you plan to do with your mentor. Saying this out loud makes it become more real.
7. Discuss with your mentor any accommodations you need to move forward with your plan.

The key in all of this is the recognition that what you are going through is not a weakness. Trying to resolve this challenge on your own can be very destructive.