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You are here: Student Success Skills » Managing the Social Side of College » Managing Good Relationships

Student Success Skills

Managing Good Relationships

by jack
July 13, 2012

College is an experience that is meant to prepare students for “the real world”. Not only does college help one learn about specific studies, it helps you learn about life in general. An important part of life is learning to work well with others. Developing good relationships will help keep your stress down and help you maintain a healthy lifestyle.

  1. Here’s how to maintain good relationships:
    1. Be able to identify good characteristics in those you meet.
    2. Determine who in your life is supportive.
    3. Learn how to deal with non-supportive people (see the topic Learning to Say No).
    4. Realize how critical it is to have supportive friends in college.
    5. Develop better relationships with your family.
    6. Make sure intimate relationships are academically supportive.
    7. Don’t try to be someone you are not.
  2. Identifying good characteristics & supportive friends. Qualities to look for are:
    1. Trustworthiness
    2. Reliability
    3. Listening skills
    4. Feedback skills
    5. Honesty
    6. Those who make healthy sacrifices for you
    7. Those who have good connections (networking)
    8. Those who can help you study
    9. Those who “have your back”
    10. Those who are good influences
  3. Identifying and dealing with non-supportive friends. Qualities to look for are:
    1. Selfishness
    2. Anger
    3. Gossipers
    4. Jealousy
    5. Those who take away your time
  4. Although it is sometimes hard to adjust to school many people tend to find friends that aren’t real friends. These friends will come and go but in order to have a supportive friend you should try to find someone who you can tell anything to. You will find these friends in your major and become very close because you both share common interests. On the other hand a non-supportive friend can only hold you back from reaching your full potential. These friends are not worth holding onto because they don’t care where you will end up in life. Sure you can probably have a good time with them, but when it comes down to the school work they couldn’t care less. The best advice would be to drop this friend and start looking for new ones that will support and help you accomplish any task that you may face.
  5. Developing better relationships with your family:
    1. Become financially independent
    2. Develop discipline and responsibility
    3. Become consistent with respect
    4. Keep up good grades
    5. Communicate what you are doing
  6. How important academic support is in relationships:
    1. Have study dates
    2. Set rewards for doing well in classes
    3. Have quality time as a reward for studying goals being met
    4. Use the academic/social balance as a way to elevate your long-term relationship
    5. Share your academic progress with your boyfriend/girlfriend
  7. Being yourself
    1. Understand the values that are important to you and maintain these no matter what
    2. Don’t pretend you are someone who you are not just to please others

Part of the college experience is the process of relating to others. This experience will be one of the most valuable aspects of college..

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